Unveiling the Abuser’s Tactics Through the Power and Control Wheel

Power & Control

Understanding the intricate web of tactics that abusers employ to maintain control over their victims is crucial for both survivors and those working to support them. In trauma-informed care, the Power and Control Wheel serves as an invaluable tool for illuminating these dynamics, offering a visual representation of the various methods abusers utilise to manipulate and dominate their partners. In this comprehensive exploration, we will delve deeper into the Wheel, examining its eight segments, and providing expanded insights into the insidious ways in which abusers exert their influence.

A Framework for Understanding Abuse

Developed by the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project in Duluth, Minnesota, the Wheel offers a visual representation of the various tactics abusers use to maintain power and control over their victims. This wheel is not simply a list of abusive behaviours, but rather a framework that highlights the interconnectedness of these tactics and how they function to create an environment of fear, isolation, and dependency. The Wheel is a valuable tool for:

• Survivors: The wheel helps survivors recognise the patterns of abuse they’ve experienced, validate their experiences, and understand they are not alone.
• Support Systems: It provides friends, family, and professionals with a framework for understanding the dynamics of abuse and how to support survivors.
• Education & Prevention: It’s an educational resource for raising awareness about the complex nature of domestic violence and preventing abuse.

Exploring the Eight Segments of the Wheel (Expanded)

The Power and Control Wheel is divided into eight segments, each representing a different category of abusive tactics:

1. Using Coercion and Threats
2. Using Intimidation
3. Using Emotional Abuse
4. Using Isolation
5. Minimising, Denying, and Blaming
6. Using Children
7. Using Male Privilege
8. Using Economic Abuse  

Let’s inspect each of these segments and the specific tactics they encompass, with expanded examples:

1. Using Coercion and Threats

This segment involves the abuser making threats to do something to hurt the victim, threatening to leave her, to commit suicide, to report her to welfare, making her drop charges, making her do illegal things.  

• Expanded Examples:
  • Threatening Self-Harm: “If you ever try to leave me, I’ll kill myself. You’ll be responsible for my death.” This creates intense guilt and fear in the victim, making them feel trapped.
  • Threatening to Harm Loved Ones: “If you tell anyone about what’s happening, I’ll hurt your family. I know where your sister lives.” This extends the fear beyond the victim themselves, making them feel responsible for the safety of others.
  • Threatening Legal Action: “I’ll call the police and tell them you’re a terrible parent. You’ll lose the kids.” This manipulates the victim’s fear of the legal system and their desire to protect their children.
  • Forcing Illegal Activity: “If you don’t help me with this scam, I’ll tell the police about that time you shoplifted. You’ll go to jail.” This entraps the victim in further illegal activity, making them feel even more dependent on the abuser.

2. Using Intimidation

This segment involves making the victim afraid by using looks, actions, gestures, smashing things, destroying her property, abusing pets, displaying weapons.

• Expanded Examples:
  • Physical Displays of Anger: The abuser might slam doors, punch walls, or throw objects near the victim, even if not directly at them. This creates an atmosphere of fear and unpredictability.
  • Destruction of Property: The abuser might break the victim’s phone, rip up their clothes, or damage sentimental items. This sends the message that the victim’s possessions, and by extension, their sense of self, are worthless.
  • Animal Abuse: The abuser might harm or threaten to harm the victim’s pets. This exploits the victim’s love for their animals and creates additional fear and vulnerability.
  • Weaponisation: Even if the abuser doesn’t directly threaten the victim with a weapon, simply having one visible can be extremely intimidating and create a sense of constant danger.

3. Using Emotional Abuse

This segment involves putting the victim down, making her feel bad about herself, calling her names, making her think she’s crazy, playing mind games, humiliating her, making her feel guilty.  

• Expanded Examples:
  • Constant Criticism: The abuser might criticise the victim’s appearance, intelligence, parenting skills, or any other aspect of their life. This erodes the victim’s self-esteem and makes them doubt their own worth.
  • Gaslighting: The abuser might deny things they said or did, making the victim question their own memory and sanity. This can lead to the victim feeling confused, disoriented, and unable to trust their own perceptions.
  • Triangulation: The abuser might bring in a third person (e.g., an ex-partner, a family member, or a friend) to create jealousy or insecurity in the victim. This can make the victim feel like they are constantly competing for the abuser’s attention and affection.
  • Shaming and Humiliation: The abuser might make fun of the victim in front of others, share private information about them, or force them to do things that are embarrassing or degrading. This can make the victim feel ashamed, worthless, and isolated.

4. Using Isolation

This segment involves controlling what the victim does, who she sees and talks to, what she reads, where she goes, limiting her outside involvement, using jealousy to justify actions  

• Expanded Examples:
  • Restricting Social Contact: The abuser might forbid the victim from seeing friends or family, or they might create situations that make it difficult for the victim to maintain those relationships.
  • Monitoring Communication: The abuser might check the victim’s phone, email, or social media accounts, or they might demand to know who the victim is talking to and what they are talking about.
  • Controlling Movement: The abuser might not allow the victim to go out alone, or they might track the victim’s movements using GPS or other technology.
  • Pathological Jealousy: The abuser might accuse the victim of flirting or cheating, even if there is no evidence to support those accusations. This can make the victim feel like they are constantly walking on eggshells and that they can never do anything right.

5. Minimising, Denying, and Blaming

This segment involves the abuser making light of the abuse and not taking her concerns about it seriously, saying the abuse didn’t happen, shifting responsibility for abusive behaviour, saying she caused it.  

• Expanded Examples:
  • Trivialising the Abuse: The abuser might say things like, “You’re overreacting,” or “I didn’t hit you that hard.” This minimises the impact of the abuse and makes the victim feel like their feelings and experiences are not valid.
  • Gaslighting (revisited): The abuser might deny that the abuse ever happened, or they might blame the victim for “misremembering” or “exaggerating.” This can make the victim doubt their own reality and question their sanity.
  • Blaming the Victim: The abuser might say things like, “If you hadn’t made me angry, I wouldn’t have hit you,” or “You’re always pushing my buttons.” This shifts the responsibility for the abuse onto the victim and makes them feel like they deserve to be treated poorly.

6. Using Children

This segment involves the abuser making the victim feel guilty about the children, using the children to relay messages, using visitation to harass the victim, threatening to take the children away  

• Expanded Examples:
  • Parental Alienation: The abuser might try to turn the children against the victim by saying negative things about them or by limiting the children’s contact with the victim. This can create a deep sense of loss and isolation for both the victim and the children.
  • Using Children as messengers: The abuser might force the children to relay messages to the victim, or they might use the children to spy on the victim. This puts the children in a loyalty bind and can cause them significant emotional distress.
  • Weaponizing Visitation: The abuser might use visitation exchanges as an opportunity to harass or intimidate the victim, or they might threaten to not return the children if the victim doesn’t comply with their demands.
  • Threats of Custody Battles: The abuser might threaten to take the children away from the victim, or they might actually file for custody. This can create immense fear and anxiety in the victim and make it difficult for them to leave the abusive relationship.

7. Using Male Privilege

This segment involves the abuser treating the victim like a servant, making all the big decisions, acting like the “master of the castle,” being the one to define men’s and women’s roles.  

• Expanded Examples:
  • Traditional Gender Roles: The abuser might insist that the woman’s place is in the home, taking care of the children and the household chores, while the man’s place is to be the breadwinner and the decision-maker.
  • Disregarding the Victim’s Opinions: The abuser might make all the important decisions without consulting the victim, or they might dismiss the victim’s opinions and ideas as unimportant or irrelevant.
  • Treating the Victim as Property: The abuser might act like the victim is their possession, controlling their every move and expecting them to be available to meet their needs.
  • Enforcing Double Standards: The abuser might have different rules for themselves and the victim, allowing themselves freedoms that they deny to the victim. This creates a sense of inequality and injustice in the relationship.

8. Using Economic Abuse

This segment involves preventing her from getting or keeping a job, making her ask for money, giving her an allowance, taking her money, not letting her know about or have access to family income: 

• Expanded Examples:
  • Sabotaging Employment: The abuser might prevent the victim from getting or keeping a job by making them miss work, calling their employer to create problems, or even physically preventing them from leaving the house.
  • Financial Control: The abuser might control all the finances, making the victim ask for money for even necessities like food or clothing. This creates a sense of dependency and helplessness in the victim.
  • Strict Allowances: The abuser might put the victim on a strict allowance, limiting their access to money and making them feel like they have to beg for every penny.
  • Theft and Exploitation: The abuser might take the victim’s paycheck, deny them access to joint accounts, or force them to hand over their money. This leaves the victim financially vulnerable and unable to support themselves.

The Impact of Power and Control Dynamics

The tactics illustrated in the Wheel can have devastating consequences for victims of abuse. These tactics create an environment of fear, isolation, and dependency, which can lead to a range of physical, emotional, and psychological problems.

• Physical Health: Victims of abuse often experience physical injuries, chronic pain, sleep disturbances, and gastrointestinal issues. The constant stress of living in an abusive environment can also weaken the immune system, making victims more susceptible to illness.
• Mental Health: Abuse can lead to a range of mental health problems, including depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and substance abuse. Victims may also experience nightmares, flashbacks, and difficulty concentrating. In severe cases, abuse can even lead to suicidal thoughts or attempts.  
• Self-Esteem: The constant manipulation, degradation, and gaslighting can severely erode a victim’s self-worth and confidence. Victims may start to believe the negative things the abuser says about them and may feel like they are worthless or unlovable.
• Relationships: Abuse can damage a victim’s ability to trust others and form healthy relationships. Victims may become withdrawn, isolated, and have difficulty connecting with others. They may also struggle to set boundaries or assert themselves in relationships.
• Financial Stability: Economic abuse can leave victims financially dependent and struggling to support themselves. This can make it even more difficult for victims to leave the abusive relationship, as they may fear being unable to provide for themselves or their children.

The Role of Trauma-Informed Care

Understanding the Power and Control Wheel is a critical step in providing trauma-informed care to survivors of abuse. Trauma-informed care recognises the profound impact that trauma can have on an individual’s life and seeks to create a safe and empowering environment for healing.

• Safety & Trust: Creating a safe and trustworthy therapeutic relationship is paramount. Survivors need to feel comfortable sharing their experiences without fear of judgment or re-traumatisation. This involves active listening, validation, and respecting the survivor’s pace.
• Empowerment & Choice: Trauma-informed care focuses on empowering survivors to make their own choices and regain control over their lives. This includes providing information, exploring options, and supporting decision-making, even if those choices differ from the professional’s recommendations.
• Collaboration & Connection: Healing is often facilitated through connection. Trauma-informed care encourages collaboration between survivors and their support systems, fostering a sense of community and belonging. This might involve connecting survivors with support groups or other resources in their community.
• Skill-Building & Resilience: Trauma-informed care equips survivors with coping skills and strategies to manage triggers, regulate emotions, and build resilience. This may involve teaching mindfulness techniques, relaxation exercises, or grounding techniques.

Supporting Survivors: Breaking the Cycle of Abuse

If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, please reach out for help. There are many resources available to support survivors. Remember, you are not alone. There is hope for healing and a life free from abuse.

Manchester university has created a great PDF file that shows more information on domestic abuse and ways to get help. I also have a domestic abuse section on my website that i will also link below.

Conclusion

The Power and Control Wheel is a powerful tool for understanding the complex dynamics of abuse. By recognising the tactics abusers use to maintain power , we can better support survivors, educate the public, and work towards preventing abuse. As a trauma-informed life coach, understanding these dynamics empowers me to provide compassionate and effective support to my clients on their journey to healing and gaining courage and resilience.

Remember, breaking free from abuse is possible, and with the right support, survivors can reclaim their lives and thrive.